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A Scientific Explanation of Yin and Yang

You may be reading this because you stumbled upon my page or perhaps your fascinated with East to West methodologies. Or perhaps some other reason but, either way it boils down to this:

Yin and Yang is a simple concept. One of the biggest killers of people in this world I strongly suspect, and this has been backed up in further studies, is from too much Yang. Or in the west we may say too much stress.

If you are looking for a more ‘factual’ or western explanation of mindfulness, balance, stress, Yin/Yang, or demystifying East to West philosophy your in the right place. This article is the western science applied to Yin Yang and how it affects the Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) which you will learn about in the next minutes. You will also have some action steps to improve your own balance and awareness.


 

two_wolves_sketch_by_caroline_leideritz

A native American father tells his son

There are 2 wolves battling in my heart.

One is violent and dangerous.

The other is full of warmth and compassion.”

The son ask “Which wolf will win

The answer “The one I feed

 

 

I just read this story for the second time. Only this time from a different book.

It was Daniel Goleman latest book written with the Dali Lama, A Force for Good. Highly reccommended for building compassion and depth of understanding.

It was through Daniel Goleman  that I first started ‘formally learning’ about Emotional Intelligence. After reading just one book I got hooked and ever since have been focused on developing Emotional Intelligence (and Social Intelligence) in my life and for others.

WARNING: You may get hooked too!

 

I would really love to share a more in-depth explanation of this and share with you some of the scientific reasoning on how it works and how this is the basis for Yin and Yang.

 

wolf2

 

So looking at the wolves, you may wonder, you may ponder different meanings. And that is the magic of metaphors. You take your own meaning out of it. Since you take out your own meaning, it’s more powerful then simply being told the reason or answer.

 

The more you think about how you have feel towards the story or metaphor, the more internal or self focused you may become. Through focus comes awareness. So take a moment to really feel the picture above.

 

I’ve been fortunate to study with some of the best thought leaders known. By chance I read this metaphor by Daniel Goleman and the Dali Lama and a week later I was working through a Emotional Intelligence in Leadership course by Dr. Richard Boyatzis. Last year I also heard Dr Bruce Lipton share similar work. Dr Boyatzis and Dr Lipton shared different stories but from a scientific, highly logical or masculine angle. So what we have is a pile of experts explaining something in various different language patterns and also emphasizing how important this is to individuals and the collective whole.

 

In Taoism, or Eastern works they say (in very brief words) Yin Yang represents the dualistic nature of life. Yin Yang is also represented in our body/souls. Yin Yang are opposites. In the above picture one is evil one is good which is completely wrong in Taoism. But it may help you understand, one is compassion, peaceful, kind. While the other is non compassion, anger, superiority.  I say it’s wrong in Taoism as the label of evil in western language means something to be avoid and really bad. Sometimes it’s natural and perfectly good to feel anger. Don’t avoid either side, as all sides and emotions make up the whole. Life should be whole rather than dualistic.

 

Now what I really want to share with you is not about Taoism or Yin Yang. It’s about the Autonomic Nervous System.

Under that light, these wolves form part of larger system. That system could well be labeled the Autonomic Nervous System (ANS). In short, it’s purpose is to regulate the body’s unconscious actions. It is divided into two further systems. The Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) and the Para-sympathetic Nervous System (PNS).

 


System 1.
The Sympathetic Nervous System.

It’s primary process is to stimulate the body’s fight-or-flight response. When we undergo stress or anger, this sympathetic nervous system fires up accelerating the heart rate, and constricting blood vessels which increases blood pressure along with a couple of other changes to body. You see with more blood racing out to our arms and legs we are able to run faster or fight more efficiently.

As a consequence, we have less blood in our brain. Our ability to think logically goes down. When fighting with someone or running from an animal you don’t need logic. Run! Fight!

In fact when fighting an instinct takes over not logic.

Another example is when you’re running late, and can’t find your keys. You start stressing, look frantically and then relies there in your back pocket.

 


System 2.
The Para-sympathetic Nervous System.

The parasympathetic system kicks in through mindfulness, faith, hope, compassion, seeing kids laugh, patting a dog, experiencing joy with friends, having intimate moments with a lover.

When we do these things the parasympathetic system lowers the heart rate, lowers blood pressure, allows more blood to flow into the head. This results further in boosting the immune system. It not only works again but the body goes into recovery mode, rejuvenating, rebuilding the body.

It’s with this system that you’re at your cognitive best. And on every measure done, you’re in a better state.

Sympathetic and parasympathetic divisions typically function in opposition to each other.

This natural opposition is better understood as complementary in nature rather than antagonistic. Hence previously mentioning good and evil as being wrong. They compliment each other and are both necessary in life. Yin and Yang is a break down of the whole. You can’t remove either one. A problem, the problem is to much of either side can bring imbalance.

 

parasympathetic_laughter


Now your action. What you need to do is to simply be aware of what nervous system mode you are in. The more you are aware the more you can influence. So I would like to ask you to consciously ask yourself through out the day, where am I? Am I in the stressed sympathetic or relaxed para-sympathetic mode.

When have I been using each system? What could happen if I used the other mode?

In our modern lives we really need to ensure we have our parasympathetic systems kicking in as much as we can. The stress will come in due course, that’s for sure. But don’t put off getting back into balance. If you’re going to be out of balance, consider being out of balance with laughter and compassion so you can bounce back, rather than anger and stress.

Have a great day, thanks for reading and sharing this with your friends. Much love and warmth.

 

Adrian Cahill

 

Update. 2017.

Have had amazing success reducing stress in clients through using Heartmaths and mBraining. Here is a diagram from Heartmaths which illustrates what happens when you become to out of balance with too much Sympathetic Nervous System. This is serious stuff. If your suffering like this, simply schedule a session with me. We can help in less than 50 minutes.

https://www.calendly.com/adriancahill/virtualcoffeeamisufferingburnoutsyndrome

8 Simple tips on finding your life purpose:

One of my clients was asking me about helping them with finding their life purpose. It’s actually a question I encounter regularly and from my experience, it’s a much bigger challenge then it first appears. But once people are more aware of their purpose, pathways to pursue it magically appear. Just like in Martial Arts or The TAO, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

For finding your life purpose, don’t stop. Even if you feel you have it at your finger tips, keep looking deeper. Soon your life may just transform. Finding your big WHY is possible. Once on track the hows will reveal themselves. So here are 8 simple tips for you my friend.

Finding your life purpose

 

Find your life purpose with Adrian Cahill. Passion Paid Competence

 

8 Simple tips to finding your life purpose:

 

1. Identify the activities that are meaningful for you.

These are the things that just feel right when you’re doing them, they have purpose and you feel authentic when you’re doing them. ACTUALLY WRITE THEM DOWN. Don’t just think about them. Make a list. At least 5 things that are really meaningful and another 5 that are so so.

 

2. Identify the things that you enjoy doing, are good at, and something that the world needs.

You may be good at watching TV, but does the world need more TV viewers? Well perhaps TV critics, TV show bloggers… But does the world need more of that? Perhaps the world needs people that are passionate about higher quality TV programs for improving people’s lives.

Are you good with communicating? Helping others through problems? Perhaps even something like cooking (creating). You should feel at your best when you are doing this. It may be something you don’t get paid for. Personally I’ve been very passionate about helping others my whole life. EQ/SQ became passions of mine around 2007 and it wasn’t until 2013 that I started to get paid for it.

When you enjoy doing it, become very good, and you figure out how to create massive value for someone somehow… It’s just a matter of time till there is enough value in what doing that more valued exchanges start to take place.

“Don’t let mental blocks control you. Set yourself free. Confront your fear and turn the mental blocks into building blocks.”
― Roopleen,

 

3. Create a brief statement that ties together what you are good at and what provides you with a sense of purpose.

In finding your life purpose you probably like to end up with a brief mission or vision statement. A short sentence, a paragraph or even a mantra. Ensure it’s memorable, short and to the point. It can be repeated in times of vain or yelled out over and over again in your car on your way to the next business meeting. Tony Robbins talks about this in some of his programs. A leader needs a mission or vision. Your purpose is that mission or vision.

Steve Jobs, had a very clear why. Profits and Apple were by products of his clear why.

 

Finding your life purpose with Adrian Cahill, Be a Boss

 

4. Check how your statement or mantra supports your current direction.

Are your daily habits and rituals in line with this. How much of your daily life can be nearer to this?

Remember waterfalls start from little streams.

Steve Jobs was a futurist. A dreamer. Highly intuitive. Would he settle for working in a manager role? No! His why drove him to be in a highly intuitive, dreaming, creators role.

 

5. Develop new insights and skills that help you to live closer and closer to your statement or mantra without creating big changes.

I’ve worked with over 40 clients now, most of them thought they needed to quit their jobs. Many ended up changing their jobs however, many found that quitting wasn’t required.

Us human being have very common human needs. Often these needs are not met. Hence we end up looking to meet them else where in resourceful, or un-resourceful ways. If creativity is a need for you, and you don’t get to be creative, you may feel an unmet need. Rather than quit your job, doing something more creative on the weekends, or even some smaller creativity time or creative task may fill the void.

Helping people become aware of un-met needs, and un-resourceful thinking and habits are one of the primary results experienced through the initial stages of coaching. It all begins with awareness, then little changes (or complete transformation) can occur.

 

6. Take the time to reflect, savoir the moments and be 100% present.

In finding your life purpose, it’s very important we take the time to reflect. Recognize that sense of internal fulfillment and calmness when you’re doing things you love. Or doing things that assist you to be completely present. Consider a variety of meditation practices.

It’s very powerful and often underestimated. Especially with finding your life purpose or fulfillment.  Meditation retreats, time out at a Kung Fu school or Yoga Camps are a great way to regain balance, composure, reflect and recharge.

Making a big life change is pretty scary. But, you know what’s even scarier?  Regret.”

 

7. Find ways to spend more time doing the things that link to your purpose, or find ways to link what you do to your purpose.

Can you turn your passion/purpose into a small cash flow system. This may not be evident right away. In 2011 and 2012 I was a NLP Practitioner trying to change the world. I was guiding people through healing and change processes. But I had no idea how to charge or even if I could. I stumbled upon a podcast and discovered a path that lead to becoming a professional and PAID Life/Executive Coach. That training and being able to monetize it meant that I could really focus on my calling. My calling is not to be a Life Coach, but this is part of my journey.

One of my clients has changed her job every year for the past 3 years. She knows her calling and after working in 3 different companies, in 3 different positions, she had learned the skills required to start her own business and has a pile of valuable experiences, good memories and connections from those 3 years.

 

Finding your life purpose with Adrian Cahill, being blessed.

 

8. If still required, then look at creating bigger changes.

Despite the previous example, which is a rare case, it still amazes me how quickly my friends in China quit their jobs. I wonder, are the problems they are faced with really going to be solved by changing jobs? Changing jobs regularly if it is for your purpose is great! If changing jobs and changing cities regularly, while not following your purpose is a problem. Perhaps instead of a change of environment, maybe a change in self is required. Perhaps a life overhaul or servicing. Check your self in to see a professional (or even a training) Life Coach to map out your life and purpose. Finding your life purpose is often something best done with help.

You may even find some of your experiences from the past (often between 3-9 years age) may be holding you back from being able to access your best self or cause problems in your relationships. It happens all the time. A coach is great for that. Finding your life purpose while suppressing emotions is a challenge. Finding your life purpose while suppressing childhood trauma or memories of mum and dad constantly unhappy or fighting is certainly a challenge.

If you don’t want to see someone to help you, or you really really want to do it by yourself, perhaps 1 – 3 weeks of Maum Meditation (in Noonsan Korea) or Viapasana Mediation (at temples and retreats all around the world now). Travel by yourself. Time in your religious center if you have one. Finding yourself, your passion, finding your purpose in life is a journey that will change your world forever.

“If you are given a chance to be a role model, I think you should always take it because you can influence a person’s life in a positive light, and that’s what I want to do. That’s what it’s all about.”
Tiger Woods

 

 

Please feel free to share your thoughts on 8 Simple tips on finding your life purpose.

Would you like to have a real conversation?

For those that would like a 30 minute chat on “why I’m struggling to find my life purpose” or “I think I have blocks” please schedule a 30 minute chat here Adrian’s Calendar. It’s free for you because I’ve been there! I was stuck for years. But once I got through it, wow! Life has been so so good. Don’t sit idling, wasting time or procrastinating! Life is to good.

 

Kind Regards,
Adrian Cahill

Finding your life purpose with Adrian Cahill

 

Chris Chen

阿迪是一位幽默而且富有活力的培训师。凭借广泛的旅行和职业经历,他在全球多个场合提供生活培训服务。
他丰富的人生经历,使他容易与人交往,包括和那些与他文化背景完全不同的人。他在人际交往方面有天赋,他很擅长与人交谈。
阿迪是我见过的非常随和、友好的人之一。
阿迪也是一位很好的语言教师。他会说几种不同的语言。他积极组织社交活动。他是沙发客团队上海地区的财富。

Chris Chen,

Founder Life Talk Series, Shanghai China

2014-06-03T10:25:44+00:00

Chris Chen,

Founder Life Talk Series, Shanghai China

阿迪是一位幽默而且富有活力的培训师。凭借广泛的旅行和职业经历,他在全球多个场合提供生活培训服务。 他丰富的人生经历,使他容易与人交往,包括和那些与他文化背景完全不同的人。他在人际交往方面有天赋,他很擅长与人交谈。 阿迪是我见过的非常随和、友好的人之一。 阿迪也是一位很好的语言教师。他会说几种不同的语言。他积极组织社交活动。他是沙发客团队上海地区的财富。

Kristen Van Nest

Adrian is an excellent coach. He’s focused on helping you achieve your goals, listening closely and asking directed questions. For me, he helped me with a key career vision rut, so that I could create a clearer trajectory for the long-term and actionable steps in the short-term. He has great analogies and stories to make a complex problem more understandable and approachable.

Kristen Van Nest, 

Globalization Specialist, Shanghai China

2014-09-16T05:12:04+00:00

Kristen Van Nest, 

Globalization Specialist, Shanghai China

Adrian is an excellent coach. He’s focused on helping you achieve your goals, listening closely and asking directed questions. For me, he helped me with a key career vision rut, so that I could create a clearer trajectory for the long-term and actionable steps in the short-term. He has great analogies and stories to make a complex problem more understandable and approachable.

Natalia Skirtenko-Harm

I got to know Adrian during NLP Master training course and was really impressed by Adrian's coaching skills and ability to connect with people around him. I would definitely recommend Adrian as a very effective coach for anyone who is willing to make positive changes and to achieve more in life.

Natalia Skirtenko-Harm,

Relocation Adviser at Outpost Global Services, Shell, Beijing China

2014-09-16T05:18:53+00:00

Natalia Skirtenko-Harm,

Relocation Adviser at Outpost Global Services, Shell, Beijing China

I got to know Adrian during NLP Master training course and was really impressed by Adrian's coaching skills and ability to connect with people around him. I would definitely recommend Adrian as a very effective coach for anyone who is willing to make positive changes and to achieve more in life.

Vitali

I've been working with Adrian as a coach since December 2013. I have found insights obtained in working with Adrian to be extremely valuable. I can say that I've had a measurable and a considerable positive impact in a number of areas of my life. Diversity of his experience, knowledge and expertise also enable meaningful discussions around specifics and hence the ability to develop solutions. I can highly recommend Adrian to help anyone reach their potential.

Vitali

Engineer, Australian Distribution Utility Company

2014-09-16T05:20:17+00:00

Vitali

Engineer, Australian Distribution Utility Company

I've been working with Adrian as a coach since December 2013. I have found insights obtained in working with Adrian to be extremely valuable. I can say that I've had a measurable and a considerable positive impact in a number of areas of my life. Diversity of his experience, knowledge and expertise also enable meaningful discussions around specifics and hence the ability to develop solutions. I can highly recommend Adrian to help anyone reach their potential.

Xiaofang Su

作为一位专业的人生导师,平易近人、幽默风趣的Adrian总能引导你自己找到各种问题的答案,可谓是授人以渔。他学富五百车,行过万里路。听他一席话,胜读十年书呢。

Adrian is a professional life coach. He have the ability to guide you to find the problem and solution by yourself. He is not going to give you a fish for a day, but teaching you fishing skills which you can use to feed yourself for a lifetime.

Xiaofang Su,

Assistant Showroom Manager at Lululemon Athletica, Shanghai China

2014-09-16T05:21:58+00:00

Xiaofang Su,

Assistant Showroom Manager at Lululemon Athletica, Shanghai China

作为一位专业的人生导师,平易近人、幽默风趣的Adrian总能引导你自己找到各种问题的答案,可谓是授人以渔。他学富五百车,行过万里路。听他一席话,胜读十年书呢。 Adrian is a professional life coach. He have the ability to guide you to find the problem and solution by yourself. He is not going to give you a fish for a day, but teaching you fishing skills which you can use to feed yourself for a lifetime.

Brian Peters

The saying goes, "Learn from those who have done it". When it comes to Adrian it's all experience. Being able to leave his full time job and travel for over 4 years before the age of 28 is an accomplishment most people dream of at the age of 58.

Brian Peters,

CEO Peters Partnerships, Adelaide Australia

2014-09-16T05:48:05+00:00

Brian Peters,

CEO Peters Partnerships, Adelaide Australia

The saying goes, "Learn from those who have done it". When it comes to Adrian it's all experience. Being able to leave his full time job and travel for over 4 years before the age of 28 is an accomplishment most people dream of at the age of 58.

Yene Assegid

Adrian has been a great source of learning and insights in our work together. I have been amazed at his ability to take complex organisational challenges and turn the situation around to allow members of the team see different perspectives that lead to breakthroughs.


Yene Assegid,

MBA, PhD, PCC, Author

2014-09-16T05:49:31+00:00

Yene Assegid,

MBA, PhD, PCC, Author

Adrian has been a great source of learning and insights in our work together. I have been amazed at his ability to take complex organisational challenges and turn the situation around to allow members of the team see different perspectives that lead to breakthroughs.

Sayako Miyamoto

Adrian helped me take my passion and turn it into a business. I still work however I am also turning my passion into profit.

 

 

Sayako Miyamoto,

www.awesomejapanesehelp.com, Osaka Japan

2015-02-16T08:52:34+00:00

Sayako Miyamoto,

www.awesomejapanesehelp.com, Osaka Japan

Adrian helped me take my passion and turn it into a business. I still work however I am also turning my passion into profit.    

Peter Buki

I met Adrian the first time in Hungary in 2009 and at the time we were both heavily into Personal Development. Only Adrian was traveling the world and doing it while most people, were stuck in a job.
Years later I was still stuck in my job. I told Adrian I had problems with starting my photography business, he offered a helping hand. He really does have skills in finding your mental blocks and pushing you forward. To be better put, he helps you push yourself through your blocks and barriers. I will certainly recommend your services to my friends!

Peter Buki,

Freelance Photographer & Specialist for Vodafone, Budapest Hungary

2015-02-16T09:14:11+00:00

Peter Buki,

Freelance Photographer & Specialist for Vodafone, Budapest Hungary

I met Adrian the first time in Hungary in 2009 and at the time we were both heavily into Personal Development. Only Adrian was traveling the world and doing it while most people, were stuck in a job. Years later I was still stuck in my job. I told Adrian I had problems with starting my photography business, he offered a helping hand. He really does have skills in finding your mental blocks and pushing you forward. To be better put, he helps you push yourself through your blocks and barriers. I will certainly recommend your services to my friends!

Rob Vickery

Since our powerful session, I have cut down my sugar consumption by about 80% and this has had a dramatic and positive effect on my life, especially my moods and overall feeling.

Rob Vickery,

Interview Specialist and Coach, Gold Coast Australia

2015-03-04T02:27:12+00:00

Rob Vickery,

Interview Specialist and Coach, Gold Coast Australia

Since our powerful session, I have cut down my sugar consumption by about 80% and this has had a dramatic and positive effect on my life, especially my moods and overall feeling.

— Yvonne Li

之前失去了工作,对自己的未来和人生没有了信心,心情也不是很好。听朋友介绍,认识了Adi。然后听了他的几次NLP培训课。我慢慢对自己有了新的认识,认识到了自己真正的问题所在,更清楚自己下一步要做什么,同时也让我对生活渐渐重拾了信心。Adi帮助了我,我真的很感谢他!也想推荐给需要相同帮助的朋友们!

Yvonne Li

Founder iMeetUp

2015-03-06T07:55:09+00:00

Yvonne Li

Founder iMeetUp

之前失去了工作,对自己的未来和人生没有了信心,心情也不是很好。听朋友介绍,认识了Adi。然后听了他的几次NLP培训课。我慢慢对自己有了新的认识,认识到了自己真正的问题所在,更清楚自己下一步要做什么,同时也让我对生活渐渐重拾了信心。Adi帮助了我,我真的很感谢他!也想推荐给需要相同帮助的朋友们!

Shansong Yu

I got a chance to work with Adrian on a workshop. He is a highly motivated man. He can always deliver his message in an active and professional way. People like his workshops and learn a lot.
Shansong Yu

Financial Services|Joint Honours Economics and Finance|McGill University

2015-08-28T05:07:17+00:00
Shansong Yu

Financial Services|Joint Honours Economics and Finance|McGill University

I got a chance to work with Adrian on a workshop. He is a highly motivated man. He can always deliver his message in an active and professional way. People like his workshops and learn a lot.

Margarita Lukavenko

I have been informally receiving some Coaching from Adrian for quite some time, learning a lot as we build language and speaking programs. Now I am paying for his Coaching to get even more and Adrian has really stepped it up. Since starting a formal coaching arrangement I saw my life changing from good to fantastic. I wish I had started earlier!

More than that, Adrian is very flexible and can handle any challenge thrown at him. He has done just about everything from Corporate Training to Afghanistan and that really puts him into the "must know&learn from" category of people around you.

Margarita Lukavenko

Managing Director, The M & Y Group

2015-08-28T05:13:55+00:00

Margarita Lukavenko

Managing Director, The M & Y Group

I have been informally receiving some Coaching from Adrian for quite some time, learning a lot as we build language and speaking programs. Now I am paying for his Coaching to get even more and Adrian has really stepped it up. Since starting a formal coaching arrangement I saw my life changing from good to fantastic. I wish I had started earlier! More than that, Adrian is very flexible and can handle any challenge thrown at him. He has done just about everything from Corporate Training to Afghanistan and that really puts him into the "must know&learn from" category of people around you.

Meng Zhao

I have invited Adrian to give an educational and entertaining talk, on personality profiling and partnership selections, to the members of our Toastmasters Club. That was the first we had him as our expert speaker, and I was really impressed by the inspiring ideas and methods he shared with us, as well as the way he interacted with audience. Adrian really knows how to talk to and give practical suggestions to people with different backgrounds and personalities

Meng Zhao

Planning Engineer at Shanghai Volkswagen, China

2015-08-28T05:17:37+00:00

Meng Zhao

Planning Engineer at Shanghai Volkswagen, China

I have invited Adrian to give an educational and entertaining talk, on personality profiling and partnership selections, to the members of our Toastmasters Club. That was the first we had him as our expert speaker, and I was really impressed by the inspiring ideas and methods he shared with us, as well as the way he interacted with audience. Adrian really knows how to talk to and give practical suggestions to people with different backgrounds and personalities

Katy Allen

Not only a warm, confident and approachable guy, but also an excellent mentor, teacher and coach. Adrian has built, grown and become an integral part of the Shanghai community of people seeking self-improvement. I have met many who he has directly influenced in a positive direction. On a personal note, Adi's workshops have additionally fed and enabled my own development as a teacher and influencer of others, given me an invaluable skills and knowledge set about NLP and opened my mind and heart to mindfulness. Thank you Adi!
Katy Allen
Primary Reception Homeroom Teacher
2015-08-28T05:19:21+00:00
Katy Allen
Primary Reception Homeroom Teacher
Not only a warm, confident and approachable guy, but also an excellent mentor, teacher and coach. Adrian has built, grown and become an integral part of the Shanghai community of people seeking self-improvement. I have met many who he has directly influenced in a positive direction. On a personal note, Adi's workshops have additionally fed and enabled my own development as a teacher and influencer of others, given me an invaluable skills and knowledge set about NLP and opened my mind and heart to mindfulness. Thank you Adi!

Maya Roesch

Adrian helped me get my goals and order and he made sure that I had some Ideas on how to get there. Since I have seen Adrian many things in my work environment and personal life has changed for the good and it is getting better each day. He can be a great asset to each business if you are stuck and not sure to which direction to go to.

Maya Roesch

English Teacher, Photographer and Designer

2015-08-28T05:30:14+00:00

Maya Roesch

English Teacher, Photographer and Designer

Adrian helped me get my goals and order and he made sure that I had some Ideas on how to get there. Since I have seen Adrian many things in my work environment and personal life has changed for the good and it is getting better each day. He can be a great asset to each business if you are stuck and not sure to which direction to go to.

Nate Dudhill

I've had the privilege of meeting Adrian and having coaching sessions with him for a few months. From lesson one he gave facilitated me in finding my goals and helped me to set targets to achieve what I wanted to. I recommend anyone to see Adrian if they want to make a real difference to their career or personal life.

Nate Dudhill

Helping People To Invest In UK, USA & Australian Real Estate

2015-08-28T05:33:51+00:00

Nate Dudhill

Helping People To Invest In UK, USA & Australian Real Estate

I've had the privilege of meeting Adrian and having coaching sessions with him for a few months. From lesson one he gave facilitated me in finding my goals and helped me to set targets to achieve what I wanted to. I recommend anyone to see Adrian if they want to make a real difference to their career or personal life.

Boon Jim Chuah

I first met Adrian thru one of his workshops, where he offered great insights and resources on how to approach some of the sticky things in relationships and life.

Adrian is well read and displays in depth knowledge & expertise as a capable motivational life coach.

As i got more opportunities to work with Adrian on other projects, I realized that far from being a cookie cutter coach, Adrian demonstrated the ability to tailor a strong program according to one's situational needs.

To top it off, Adrian takes an honest interest in helping each individual, with a good balance of patient space and motivational push.

I have no qualms recommending his services and have already put several of my own students in touch with him.

Boon Jim Chuah

Senior Accounts Manager, THREAD

2015-08-28T05:34:01+00:00

Boon Jim Chuah

Senior Accounts Manager, THREAD

I first met Adrian thru one of his workshops, where he offered great insights and resources on how to approach some of the sticky things in relationships and life. Adrian is well read and displays in depth knowledge & expertise as a capable motivational life coach. As i got more opportunities to work with Adrian on other projects, I realized that far from being a cookie cutter coach, Adrian demonstrated the ability to tailor a strong program according to one's situational needs. To top it off, Adrian takes an honest interest in helping each individual, with a good balance of patient space and motivational push. I have no qualms recommending his services and have already put several of my own students in touch with him.

Yizhi Guo

Having Adrian as a coach is a pretty curious thing. After our first session, I had high doubts about whether or not I wanted to continue. Having never tried a coach before, I found our first session pretty weird and underwhelming, and I was skeptical of his ability to help me.

Counting my father and best friend, to date a year later I can say that unexpectedly meeting Adrian has to be one of the most profoundly positive impacts on my little life. Had I not continued seeking Adrian out of curiosity, I would be in a whole lot of pain today at what I could have been, what I could have changed, instead of the unstoppable and overwhelming awesome that is today's morning.

If your committed to making your way down the mountain you'll always end up there in time. What Adrian'll do is blow up the mountains in the way and strap a rocket to your back. I now know of Adrian's character that he is someone truly on the path to bettering the world and it's people, with a great arsenal of tools to help you get what you want whatever that may be, and an all around a great guy. I cannot recommend my fantastic coach, and now good friend, more.

Yizhi Guo

International Sales, Easy Coating Co., Ltd.

Easy Coating Co., Ltd. | www.easycoating.cn/en
Fineshine Technology
2015-08-28T05:43:29+00:00

Yizhi Guo

International Sales, Easy Coating Co., Ltd.

Easy Coating Co., Ltd. | www.easycoating.cn/en
Fineshine Technology
Having Adrian as a coach is a pretty curious thing. After our first session, I had high doubts about whether or not I wanted to continue. Having never tried a coach before, I found our first session pretty weird and underwhelming, and I was skeptical of his ability to help me. Counting my father and best friend, to date a year later I can say that unexpectedly meeting Adrian has to be one of the most profoundly positive impacts on my little life. Had I not continued seeking Adrian out of curiosity, I would be in a whole lot of pain today at what I could have been, what I could have changed, instead of the unstoppable and overwhelming awesome that is today's morning. If your committed to making your way down the mountain you'll always end up there in time. What Adrian'll do is blow up the mountains in the way and strap a rocket to your back. I now know of Adrian's character that he is someone truly on the path to bettering the world and it's people, with a great arsenal of tools to help you get what you want whatever that may be, and an all around a great guy. I cannot recommend my fantastic coach, and now good friend, more.

Elanie, Shanghai China

我的名字叫Elanie, 我强烈推荐Adrian ( 生活导师, 感情导师). 有些时候, 人的感情是很难控制的, 特别是在和前男友分手后! Adrian 帮助我找到了我自己. 通过和他的交流, 我找到了自己到底在生活中要什么.
我感受到他的意图其实不仅仅是要教你怎么去谈恋爱, 怎么去做交易, 而是教你如何找到你自己. 这是我在他身上真正学到的东西!
每次和他交流后, 我感觉好多了. 我认识到其实生活是如此的美丽. 我被激发了, 我充满了对生活的希望!.. 再次感谢, Adrian, 谢谢你的支持和鼓励!

Elanie,

Shanghai China

2014-06-03T10:25:18+00:00

Elanie,

Shanghai China

我的名字叫Elanie, 我强烈推荐Adrian ( 生活导师, 感情导师). 有些时候, 人的感情是很难控制的, 特别是在和前男友分手后! Adrian 帮助我找到了我自己. 通过和他的交流, 我找到了自己到底在生活中要什么. 我感受到他的意图其实不仅仅是要教你怎么去谈恋爱, 怎么去做交易, 而是教你如何找到你自己. 这是我在他身上真正学到的东西! 每次和他交流后, 我感觉好多了. 我认识到其实生活是如此的美丽. 我被激发了, 我充满了对生活的希望!.. 再次感谢, Adrian, 谢谢你的支持和鼓励!

 

How to improve social confidence, and meet new people daily!

Ace Kaz shrunk

That’s actually my sister and I as little little kids


8 years ago I was a complete nobody. I had hardly any friends. I struggled to talk to new people, couldn’t talk to strangers and certainly couldn’t talk to the opposite sex. My Social Confidence was at all time lows. Once I learned how to improve social confidence, and meet new people a whole new world opened up for me. I hope, and know it can do the same for you!

 This Article can be read here, downloaded in .pdf  or via Slideshare

Today, there are a lot of people out there that don’t seem to have the charisma or ability to meet the people they want to meet. Sometimes it comes down to Social Confidence. As our readers are quiet smart and value self development, I thought we would write a little bit about the subject here. Especially for those that care about their communities and want to share a good read.

Good Social Confidence can easily lead to:

  • Improved work relationships,
  • Through meeting new people increased opportunity for sales or networking
  • A dramatic increase in the chances of finding that special person
  • New ideas, concepts, friends and a whole lot more fun.

So who wouldn’t want more of it!

Let’s not talk to much about it, but what about the opposite. I see a lack of Social Confidence regularly and you probably see it too.

Right now, do you believe that the community around you is regularly improving or losing Social Confidence?

Personally, it never ceases to amaze me how common a lack of social skills is. I’ve seen this in most of the countries I’ve visited so far (70+ Countries). Every single week I meet people who struggle to make eye contact, can’t hold down a solid conversation and let’s not get started with Smartphones replacing real life conversation.

Social skills are not something you learn over night or from a smart phone app. People traditionally learned through lots of experience and good guidance but since the creation of TV less and less real life interactions are taking place. Social skills are on the which is the main reason I chose to develop skills in Training & Coaching. This industry is booming, as more and more smart people turn to educated experts for advice.

However I could be wrong.What do you think? Are these skills going down?

Here is a six step process that helped me grow my social confidence and drastically improved my social skills to the point where I was on TEDx twice.

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How to improve social confidence.

lets get into it!

1. Talk to strangers, daily.

Talk to everybody! Talk to the security guard, the shop attendants, the delivery people, people anywhere you can. Even if its just hi. This habit of becoming more social and a natural hello to any person is also going to help the common occurrence of “wondering what to say next”. Something that commonly happens when trying to meet the opposite sex. The more you talk to people in your day to day life, the more comfortable you’ll become in these types of situations.

It is a systemic desensitization approach to social anxiety and its effectiveness is evidenced by psychological research. For the majority of people, taking baby steps has proven to be the best way of overcoming social anxiety.

Another reason for doing this, is that you will meet all sorts of people from different walks of life. Doing this regularly is a fantastic way of building a diverse, interesting and larger social circle.

 

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Look at this little fella in the middle! That’s Pure Awesomeness.

 

2. Learn to listen effectively.

Seek first to understand. Imagine if every thing that came out of your mouth was twice as wise. How valuable would that be?

That can actually be achieved a process I call

“shut your mouth & listen first”.

First listen with your ears, second listen with your mind. And if you really want to connect, listen with your heart. That’s what some people call, “third level listening”.

Remember, it’s not just verbal, it’s also language patterns, tonality, context based, and we haven’t even got to body language yet. Effective listening can really assist you in connecting with people without even having to think about what to say.

 

3. Everyone’s favourite topic is the same anyway

Everyone has their own story and their favourite stories. I love talking about myself. You do to. What is your story you like to share?

Think about that for a moment.

What’s your favourite story you love to share?

Perhaps you can prove me wrong, sometimes it happens. Pretty much everyone I ever spoke to across 70+countries I traveled had the same favourite subject. You know what it is, right? It was themselves. They want to talk about themselves.

It’s human nature. Perfectly natural. We like talking about ourselves. Therefore, whenever you want to talk to someone new, just ask them about themselves and fully listen to what they say. Be curious, find out about them. If you listen deep enough and ask the right questions you can learn something from everyone.

 

4. Don’t worry about what people think of you

Despite what we’re neurologically programmed to do, we actually overdo it. We are supposed to be at least a little concerned about what other people think. That is part of Social or Cultural Intelligence. Part of being in a tribe is behaving to tribe norms. However we often overdo it.

Most of the time, people are paying so much attention to themselves or what’s going on in their life (or phone) that they don’t pay much attention to you. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, it’s just, you’re not that important to them. They have their own concerns. In fact if someone thinks negatively of you, it is more often a reflection of something in their life and not yours. If someone is rude, neglecting or judging, it’s merely some drama in their own life coming out.

When you meet this behaviour, have patience with the person. Remember: the person and the behaviour can be seen as separate things. Focus on your own happiness. Happiness inside will be reflected on the outside.

Charles Chaplan and Confidence

5. Laugh

The psychological and physical benefits of laughing are often underestimated. If you ever get the opportunity, try checking out Laughing Yoga. I hear it’s a blast. Laughing is one of the best ways to ease stress, anxiety, tension, fear, trauma and the hiccups.

As much as everyone loves a comedian, you don’t have to go that far. Laughing has a way of building connections between people so being light hearted and easy to laugh with is desirable.

Laughing in the context of fear, or lack of confidence is a simple way of reducing hesitation. Laughing at myself, laughing at my own fear of doing something is a gentle way of reframing or rethinking about the fear.

6. Want to really gain confidence?

Go to events where you don’t know anyone, regularly.

This would be one of the best habits for people trying to gain confidence in the steps mentioned above. How to apply tips 1-5 at a new event?

One of the hardest things for me to do after ending my first serious relationship (7 years), was going out by myself afterwards. For me, it wasn’t a choice, I didn’t have friends. However even later after I made some friends, I still practiced and pushed myself to go out alone (+ I was really looking for a girlfriend, not drinking buddies). I’ll never forget moving to a new city, and getting an apartment down town (Spring Hill, Brisbane). I didn’t get the internet put on, so that I would have to walk down to different Internet Cafe’s instead of staying home. After a couple of trips, and not meeting people, I started to detour around places and occasionally go into a bar or cafe. Unfortunately I didn’t know about tips 1-5 so I wasn’t that good, but I was making progress.

This tip is great for Meetup.com, festivals, house parties. A side benefit will be that it will force you to meet new people.

 

How do you attack a big challenge like Confidence?

The same way you eat an Elephant.

One piece at a time.

If you can read all of this article, then learning regular ways for how to improve social confidence is something you can certainly do.

Since you’re an avid reader and got all the way to the end, I like to say a big thank you for your time. Please, feel free to follow, ask for more, or reply with a comment.


After all, you don’t want to be latched onto the one person all night.Worse yet, you don’t want to end out like this man.

from-Adriancahill.com-My-Family-Got-Kidnapped-By-Ninjas-300x220

(Neuro) Logical Levels explained by a NLP Coach

Neuro Logical Levels (or Neurological levels) is one of the most interesting frameworks I have ever seen in the Coaching / Personal Development world. It is in my opion the best NLP Coaching Model to date.  That is a massive statement so I hope and expect that you know there is a lot of value in here for you. Regardless if your working as a change agent, or looking for

That is a massive statement so I hope and expect that you know there is a lot of value in here for you. Regardless if your working as a change agent, or looking for change yourself, this will assist you in understanding and gaining a very high level of awareness of yourself and others. By firstly reading this, secondly practicing, you should be able to recognise the different levels in yourself, others and on what level a conversation is on.

This was originally created or brought to the world by Robert Dilts.

 

Neuro Logical Levels:

Best NLP Coaching Model (so far)

Best NLP Coaching Model (so far)

In the processes of learning, change, and communication there are natural hierarchies, or logical levels. In logical levels you have sets and subsets. How the sets and subsets are logically set out.

These levels are called Neuro Logical levels as they reflect different levels of thinking.

Example, if we are talking about offices. Perhaps how noisy the office is, where the office is, why there is no paper in the office printer. These are all forms of focusing on the environment level. If we were to talk about someone bullying in the office, coming to work early or late, procrastinating about what to do, etc. This is all forms of focusing on Behaviour.

The function of each NLP logical level in the hierarchy is to organize the information below it.

Example, a persons behaviour results in changes to the environment around them. When a person walks into a room, they take up space and regardless of their behaviour, it will always affect the environment. The environment is generally the result of the persons behaviour. If the person regularly displays outstanding, high performing behaviour, you would expect the environment to reflect this.

Changing something on a lower Neuro Logical level of the hierarchy could, but would not necessarily affect the levels above it. 

Example, if a person is regularly depressed, very messy, has disorganised behavioural patterns, one may imagine that if he changes where he lives, he will still have those behavours. It could affect his behaviour. He could suddenly become excited, happy and organised if he was placed on Hawaii. However his old behaviours were there for a reason. Those old reasons could still be present.

The problem is people often try to make coaches use the same level of thinking.

As Einstein said “You can’t solve the problem with the same thinking that created it.

Often I see people that suffer from procrastination attempt to fix it with behavioural changes. I congratulate them on trying and have compassion for them as it won’t work. I see this all the time. People struggle to complete tasks, so they form new tasks such as, complete tasks! Only this time they add an exclamation mark or write IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I’ve also seen people struggle with procrastination buying online courses or books on productivity and sadly (perhaps obviously to everybody else) not finish them. The book or course may on the same level, behaviours, or it may be working on a level above the problem, here that would be capability. To avoid procrastination for ever, (a rather simple feat if you know how) you have to work on higher levels then the problem hence the top down approach.

Making changes using a top down approach.

Example, take a disorganised person and help them develop multi-tasking, scheduling, and organisational skills. You would expect that their behaviour could now change with minimal resistance. Now with this new capability comes new behaviour and an organised environment.

Making a change at an upper level would necessarily change everything below it in order to support the higher level change. However working one level above the problem isn’t enough. The disorganised person, can still show a lot disorganised behaviour. Here the ‘Disorganised person’ is not a capability factor. Its part of their identity. The person may have grown up all their life being a disorganised person and no amount of capability changes will alter their behaviour if that behaviour is part of their identity. That’s like trying to move a tent, but the tent pegs are still in the ground.

You can use this model yourself and I encourage you to print out or copy this article.

Remember the following:

  • Spirituality – Change for whom and/or what purpose?
  • Identity – Does change reflect who I am?
  • Values and beliefs- Why make the change?
  • Capabilities and Skills- Change how?
  • Behaviours – Change what?
  • Environment – Where to change?

An insight to how I create my magic.

Honestly guys, 70% of what I do with people is work on the higher Neuro Logical Levels. This may be obvious, however often it’s done unconsciously. I may ask questions to someone about their challenge, then perhaps appear to ask unrelated questions about other things. These questions may lead to them focusing on the details of some of the biggest challenges they have accomplished. Then switch back to the challenge they were having currently and suddenly, they identify with the challenge differently. Suddenly, it’s not as big any more. So there you go and you can see how that can be very effective and also done without awareness.

What I really love is the amount of times I speak with someone, feel like it was nothing, but then a week later, get a message from them going something like.

“Adrian, you wouldn’t believe what just happened….”

Often people get immediate results, sometimes they take weeks. It’s amazing though how effective it is. And you can do some of this yourself! In fact, many of us are trying to do it ourselves every 1st of January, or on our birthdays. We attempt to redefine who we are with new years/birthday resolutions or simply buying gym memberships. Sadly though, a lot of these changes are just surface. We generally need one of two things.

A near death experience, something tragic, a death in the family or a heart attack, before there is enough leverage to create a deep change.

Someone to work with us and guide/push/pull or cheer us through the process.

As a NLP Coach I often find myself artificially creating heavy leverage to push a person to change. Just the other day I had a participant talk about the hard time he had cutting back sugar. I gave him an artificial near death experience, and guess what? It suddenly became much easier for him to say no to sugar. In fact when I spoke to him 7 days later he had cut back his Sugar content 80-90% and was on top of the world.

 

Now that you have learned this:

Instead of listening deeply in every conversation, try listening briefly and keep an eye on the Neuro Logical levels. Now you should be able to identify which level the conversation is on. If you really want to take this to new heights join one of our coaching or training programs so you can not only know, but drive the conversation and create positive change in those you care about. Or perhaps just experience a lot of your own personal growth and development.

Thanks guys, Neuro Logical Levels was brought to you by Adrian Cahill.

What is NLP Anchoring

In this article, we are going to cover the basics of NLP Anchoring. Perhaps you will get some insight to how to improve or use this in your daily life. By the end you will know the various forms of anchors and how you can set one.

nlpwithadriancahill

What is NLP Anchoring (or a Anchor in Coaching talk)?

An anchor is a stimulus that creates a response in either you or in another person. It could be as simple as a stop sign or a word.

When an individual is at a peak of an experience, during an intense. emotional state, and if a specific stimulus is applied, a neurological link is established between the emotional state and the stimulus. As Dr Joe Dispenza likes to say, Neurons that fire together, wire together. And with NLP we wire that neural activity to a anchor such as the stop sign or word.

Some anchors span each of our representational systems (or senses) and these are generally more powerful then using just one system. Often I’ll meditate and prior to starting use a little oil or incense to anchor / prepare mentally for the coming meditation.

We develop good and bad anchors automatically throughout our lives. Often people ask me to work with removing anchors even though they have no idea of that language. NLP Coaching or training will help enable you to identify and choose anchors while for most people it’s completely unconscious.

A great anchor is ‘used against us’ when they have comfort breaks in the middle of the film at the cinemas. As soon as you walk into a cinema it’s pretty hard to not notice the smell of popcorn. Even people that don’t normally eat popcorn often find themselves buying it the cinemas.

Greater or more mischievous anchors commonly exists in romantic and family relationships. If you are already in a relationship you may like to talk to a NLP Coach about collapsing anchors that already exist in your relationship.

If you would like to learn more about NLP anchoring, including learning the various anchoring techniques described below, then you can join us at one of our NLP Training Courses or apply for a session with a NLP certified Coach.

 

Keys to effective anchoring

  • Intensity of experience. Make sure that the intensity of the experience is high.
  • Timing of the anchor.  Apply the anchor when the intensity of the experience is at its highest.
  • Uniqueness of the stimulus.  Use a part of the body that is not normally touched eg Knuckle.
  • Replication of the stimulus.  Reapply the stimulus repeatedly to ensure that the anchor is firmly embedded into the neurology.
  • Number of times. Test the anchor repeatedly to exercise the neural pathway.

You can generate visualauditorykinestheticolfactory, and gustatory anchors.  The least preferred representational system of a person is the one that it is most powerful to use with them as it is the one that you are most sensitive to.

 

Steps in NLP Anchoring

  1. Recall a past vivid event, experience.
  2. Anchor – provide a specific stimulus.
  3. Change state.
  4. Test (Place the stimulus) – Evolve the state.

 

Example Exercise: Anchoring the feeling of confidence.

  1. Recall a time when you felt really confident.  When you think of that time do you have a picture?  Get that picture.
  2. When you notice the picture place a finger from one hand on the knuckle of the other hand (remember which knuckle you selected!).  Release the finger after a maximum of 20 seconds or earlier if you get the sense of the picture or feeling leaving you.
  3. Change your state by looking out of the window or smelling the air in the room that you are in.
  4. Replace your finger on the knuckle and notice for that feeling of confidence returning.

 

 

 

NLP Resource Anchor

An anchor for when you want to boost energy, confidence, motivation, or any other powerful state of being. One that you do for yourself. Pray is a great example.

 

NLP Stacked Anchor

A number of anchors stacked together to increase intensity of the required state. Sometimes I have my clients creating a stacked anchor for excellence. Here we may stack confidence, excitement, fun, humour and compassion on top of each other. Next we an anchor this to a convenient stimulus like rubbing a ring while saying quietly “I can do anything with compassion”.

 

NLP Chaining Anchors

Sequential process of moving to a significantly different state.

Useful for when a client has a significant difference between their present state and the desired state. Each state builds on the one before until the desired state is reached.

 

NLP Collapse Anchor

Replacing a negative anchor with a positive one for the same stimulus. 

(Great for nasty relationships and bad habits)

 

NLP Search Anchor

An anchor used to identify the source of a problem or issue.

(Great for personal development and certain types of meditation)

Ok, now you have a good knowledge base, time for you to create your own Anchor for excellence or perhaps a powerful stacked anchor. Once you have created one, it’s up to you to build it up and make it more powerful and more useful through practice.

If in China or on Wechat: feel free to follow our channel or connect with Adrian Cahill to ask any of your NLP, Coaching or Professional Development questions.

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Dollar Calculator

Misconceptions of Wealth

Why do some people achieve financial freedom and have great lives while others struggle? Today we are going to address the 3 biggest misconceptions or myths about wealth. This was trimmed up and inspired by Mr. Roger James Hamilton,  Founder of Entrepreneurs Institute. I’ve bought his book and his thoughts really aligned to a lot of things I learned from my experience particularly these Misconceptions.

1st Myth: Wealth Comes from Passive Income

MYTH

You can get wealthy by going into debt to buy assets that will give you passive income so you no longer have to work for a living.

TRUTH

how-important-is-passive-income-to-your-wealth-building-strategyYou’ve just dug a hole, not a river! All income needs to be managed, which means you need to know how to manage a team and experts who can manage your portfolio of assets.

A critical part of creating or building your wealth is building assets that make up cash flow. With the aspiration that they can provide continues passive income, a lot of people stretched their resources to purchase a property or any other assets and eventually encountered a loss. Then they would just discover that the value of these assets fall which causes a negative cash flow as well as the messing up of their credit ratings.

But these things didn’t happen to the wealthiest people, do you know why? It is because these wealthy people understand that their assets (whether the business or properties) need to be handled appropriately, and there is practically nothing passive regarding it.

2nd Myth: Wealth Comes from Multiple Streams of Income

MYTH

The more income streams you can start, the wealthier you will become.

TRUTH

Starting many streams at the same time is like trying to push many balls up a hill at the same time: You may get started, but you end up losing your focus and your time. Success comes from growing teams, not streams: multiple teams of income.

When you’re just getting started, this myth just might be among the most dreadful ones. However, it’s risky at each point. In the event that everybody around you is uncertain what your major concentration and focus actually is, where you stand and what your spot on the field is – you will likely persistently run after that ball instead of letting it get kicked to you.

Money doesn’t make money, people generate the income. This idea is what people recognize as they step up the wealth ladder. Prior to investing in the assets you shall take on, you must put the money into the most appropriate people, otherwise you end up being the only one performing all the necessary juggling and it is just a matter of time before you start dropping the ball.

Myth #3: Wealth Comes from your Exit Strategy

MYTH

Wealth comes when you sell out: Plan an exit strategy where you can work hard now and earn the money later.

TRUTH

changenextexitKeep working, because you love what you do. Don’t strive to bake a pie so you can sell it; own the bakery so you can bake as many pies as you want, sell some, and keep the rest.

Instead of an exit strategy which is leaving the game, change it with a success strategy or staying on top of the game. Remaining engaged in what they do is what makes the wealthiest people on earth who they are, because it doesn’t feel like working hard when you do what you love. Any kind of exit strategies are useless when moving up on the wealth ladder.

Many of us are connected to one another through the market. The FACTS above are actually a better way in which building assets is changed by creating flow. In this flow everything is interconnected, so when you become a part of its enhancing, nurturing and expanding, it surrounds you. It makes aiming to work out different ways of making money and staying in the game that much more essential.

Your greatest asset will be your time and effort. What matters most is to invest it properly. Maintain a success strategy in something which you are certain you love doing, wihout expecting any payment in return.

You are welcome to follow us on Facebook here, and subscribe here to get the massive free educational series focused on raising your emotional intelligence, social intelligence and self mastery.

If life was a garden

Removing negative thought patterns through Power Emotions.

Recently I was asked by a client in Shanghai about removing negative thought patterns. In fact, I’m kinda asked this a lot however not always so directly. 

Removing negative thought patterns:

One might wonder how good it would be to remove your negative thought patterns however there is a bit more to it then simply just loosing it. If they were removed, what would take its place. One might imagine there could be a vacuum, or an abscence. Since ever action has a reaction. Or every effect, has a cause.

I like to imagine it like a garden.

Hence The Garden Metaphor.

If life was a garden, what would you want to grow?

It’s a simple and effective metaphor to a successful life. Pull out the weeds, grow beautiful plants.

1. Love and warmth
2. Appreciation and gratitude
3. Curiosity
4. Passion
5. Devotion
6. Confident
7. Flexible
8. Cheeky Vibrant Excited
9. Healthy energetic
10. Helping others, fulfilled

We also call these plants, Power Emotions.
Powerful emotions which fuel us and give us strength. Wouldn’t it be great to be feeling these emotions everyday!

Sometimes there are weeds in my garden.  Sometimes there is anger, exhaustion,  sadness.

Removing negative thought patterns:

It’s ok to want to pull these weeds out. Our society often sees them as bad or negative but we need to realise that bad or negative are judgements. Generally people percieve judging as bad, yet we are quick to judge bad or negative emotions. Perhaps we should call these, less plesant emotions. And we need to realise that we couldn’t exsist without them. They form part of the circle of life. However they are part of the circle, and certainly shouldn’t be experienced in excess. 
 
So we need to recognise these emotions are here for a reason.
Sometimes we pull one out and another grows quickly in its place. Especially if the ground is bare.

You wouldn’t pull out all the weeds and just leave it bare would you? No you would pull them out and quickly replace them with plants or weedproof matting. And good gardeners know, there is no such thing as weed proof. Only weed resistant. So I look at the weed before I pull it out. It’s grown there for a reason.  Why is that.  Oh, I need more beautiful plants or perhaps its time to plant some flexibility or devotion.

In order to remove the weeds effectively, what if instead of focusing on the weeds, we were to do our best to grow strong beautiful plants which will bear fruit and seeds for more beautiful plants. Slowly, or perhaps quickly one could end up with a beautiful garden, perhaps so beautiful that any remaining weeds are barely noticed or a problem anymore.
 

Fill your life like a beautiful garden.  Appreciate that weeds are as natural as flowers. I’m sure if you keep a focus on this trying to remove negative thought patterns will be a thing of the past.

 
These Power Emotions came from Tony Robbins. One of my favourite teachers. I spent all this June studying for Master Practitioner in New Code NLP with Daniel Smith in Beijing and of an evening going over Tony Robbins Relationship course. Tony himself uses a fair bit of NLP in his work however he also brings out a lot of stuff I haven’t seen anywhere else. I dream and hope to be able to help people as good as he does. And, I really look forward to helping you and your development in growing loveable life.
If life was a garden

words to ponder

How to hire a coach: And the $$$ Questions

How to hire a coach may seem simple but it’s often not. So this is an article for those looking at hiring me or any coach. Here I will share how to hire a coach, and valuable insights. Really upfront and honest is my favourite approach to most things in life. 

Spending money on yourself is one of the best investments you can make provided you are likely to get a good return. Investing in books or online courses can be great investments if you action what you read and really implement it. Although people are often telling me reading or online courses rarely get them long term results. Often people suffer procrastination and fear of actually pursuing big goals, therefore for those people, buying more literature can be another form of procrastination. A way to keep busy, keeping up the appearance of progress meanwhile avoiding the tough questions we often need to ask ourselves.

Sometimes it’s like reading 10 books on surfing without entering the water.

Going out into the surf will result in crashing. It will be full of falls and splashes. But when you catch yourself in the moment of full presence, alive, on the ride, there is nothing else but you connected. A surf coach can get you surfing in a fraction of time, with more success, better techniques and strategies to be excellent. Everyone knows, one would be considered mad to expect excellent results without one. 

There are various types of coaching and just briefly, I see life coaching as the basis. The most abstract. Business, Executive, Relationship, Leadership Coaches as those focusing in on the specifics. In my opinion, one should start abstract, grasp a solid big picture, build a solid foundation, then focus in on the specifics in a logical highly effective sequence. It’s pointless focusing on a relationship, business or role that doesn’t fit with your values or lead to your mid-long term objectives.  

 

How to hire a coach: ROI, Return On Investment?

Good coaching should ideally give you a return at least 5 times the size of your investment. Just as surfing lessons initially cost, but save you tons of time (and potentially save you from getting dumped hard on a shallow reef and breaking your back). 

It’s obviously hard to measure the value of being …… Fulfilled. Or satisfied with life…

There have been countless studies by the International Coaching Federation (ICF) showing the returns. One client of mine went from a break-up in a mismatched relationship to getting engaged with a great match in 6 months. Another recently made his first million. Many have changed jobs/careers. Some have saved their relationship. One is about to take list their company on the stock market. 

 

How to hire a coach: Do people regret coaching? Eleminate the fake.

Honestly, I think some do. I hear this a lot and 95% of the time the coaches were not accredited. The ICF is the worlds largest coaching body, however, anyone can call themselves a coach or author, motivational speaker, CEO, founder etc. My 3-year-old daughter can claim all those titles whenever she comes back from daycare.

Many self-proclaimed coaches, guru’s, experts have had little to no specific training. To me, these many of these untrained coaches are like washed up surf bums selling themselves at the tourist carpark pretending they are pro’s. Often you can recognise them by a Bali or beachside video. Then every time a Ferrari turns up these so-called experts line up to take selfies next to it…..

If you are approached by them, simply ask to see their Linkedin profile and ICF Accreditation (My Linkedin profile is here). 

 How to hire a coach in china

 

How to hire a coach: What to look for? 

  • Training. A great coach is often trained in NLP. They should have a Practitioner, Master Practitioner or NLP Trainers Certificate.  This is a core set of skills which lead to accelerated results. (Tony Robbins is a high-level expert in NLP, note he also sells some of the cheapest training available online however his certifications are not really valued much outside of his fan base) 

 

  • ICF (International Coaching Federation) Accreditation. ICF is the worlds biggest coaching body. There are many cheap online courses and books available on coaching but to get the ICF credential is quite some work. There is strict credentialing procedures so few make it all the way. If Coaches make it through you will see them using the ICF logo and one of the following 3 levels ACC, PCC, or MCC. Please note there is also the EMCC (European Mentoring and Coaching Council) which is the European equivalent, only applicable for coaches focused on or with Europeans. I personally went out and got this as maybe half of my online clients are European and I look forward to running training in Europe towards 2020. 

 

  • Ideally, the coach should have a background or understanding in those things you’re striving for. They do not need experience in your industry. That could be a roadblock. What is optimal is if they have helped support others through the challenges you are faced with. 

 

  • Money Back Guarantee. I often offer a money back guarantee on the condition that the person being coached, turns up. No turning up, no refund. Often clients may struggle and it wouldn’t be fair to offer a such a simple way out. Imagine if gyms did this! Therefore my money back guarantee is simply based on the client turning up regularly. No one gets results going to the gym once a month. Subscribe to a set of sessions, turn up weekly or fortnightly, results guaranteed. 

 

  • A track record of successful clients.  This track record should be open and publicly displayed on Linkedin. Yes I’m sure there are some good coaches without Linkedin but really, is your serious about what you do your profile should reflect it. Please note, it’s common for many people to play the fake it game. Hence why I always encourage Linkedin. Also note, many new coaches can and will work happily for a low fee to gain experience and develop.

 

A final quick and simple sign for a good coach or a good doctor for that matter, the first call is substantial. 

 

How to hire a coach in china

 

How to hire a coach: But I don’t have a budget.

Seeking a coach is a great form investment in yourself yet most people don’t have the budget for it.

WHO ON EARTH HAS A COACHING BUDGET?

I’ll tell you who. They worlds top performers, athletes and executives do. Successful small, medium, big, business owners, CEO’s and partners often do.

But you probably don’t.

That’s ok, it’s not your fault.

Did you go to university? Do you know how much people spend on attending university? Often they can’t afford it, but they find a way.

After all, spending xxx,xxx on University plus x years studying. Suddenly investing in your own coach is something you can’t afford not to do.

You spent x years studying. X years working. Why not spend 1 year with a coach focused on working for you!

Can you really afford NOT TO BE WORKING ON YOUR IMPROVING YOUR OWN LIFE. Instead of ‘How to hire a coach’, perhaps it should have been called ‘How can you not have a coach’. 

 

 

How to hire a coach: My costs as at November 2017.

For an ICF PCC level coach with Masters in NLP, the standard company rate in China varies from ¥3000-6000 per hour. For most of my clients this is simply too much so I have highest to lowest cost below.  

My preferred way of working is ¥88,000 or $13,888 USD for a full year. This covers EVERYTHING for the year including calls to my team! My Relationships Coach and Mindfulness Coach will be available for you. A headset to monitor and train your self to go to deep levels of powerful meditation in between (and sometimes during) our sessions will be sent to your home upon starting. This option guarantees long term change. If you use the headset and train at least an hour a week I will completely back pathway with a money back guarantee. This coaching option is by application only. To be eligible, one should be earning over ¥40,000 a month or a founder of a business with more than 4 employees.

Individual Coaching/Mentoring Strategy Sessions are available for purchase for ¥2,000 a session 
If purchasing 3 or more sessions, a discount of 10-30% is available. 
If purchasing 8 or more sessions, a discount of  20-50% is available.

Discount to be discussed. 

For those earning under ¥25,000 per month, or limited savings, I have trainee coaches, mindfulness coaches and psychologist that may be available to assist. (I’ve personally also coached for an exchange of services, for example, I coached an electrical company in my hometown and they did electrical work for one of my properties). So please just let me know what may work for you. Everyone can grow with a coach. 

 

To schedule a virtual chat to discuss pathways, please click here: www.calendly.com/adriancahill/virtualcoffee

For booking strategy sessions (upto 90 minutes), please click here: www.calendly.com/adriancahill/strategysession 

How to hire a coach in china

 

My top 8, for everyone I work with (or care about):

How to hire a coach in China Build your mindset and motivation skills daily through creating small habits. Constant small improvements are the key. 

Improving your physical fitness and health in joyful ways. Use it as me time, de-stress time, or social time. Running/swimming clubs have multiple advantages and remember men often need extra testosterone building activities such as competing or weights, while women need estrogen building activities such as collaborating. 

Reduce negative influences and habits incrementally.

Read at least 5 minutes a day. Reading a little every day can help you learn and put to practice far more than reading for hours in one day. (Notice if you read for over an hour you can barely recall more than 5-9 key points. Our brains don’t handle more than 5-9 points of chunks of information, it has to drop one to pick up more)

Build or reconnect with positive supportive friends. Schedule a time to call them if you think of them late at night and make it a high priority when that time comes. 

Spend a little more time doing things you love that are away from technology. Nature is wise. It’s outlived every animal species on earth. You can learn a lot meditating or walking in nature. 

Contact those you love more often. Enquire about their model of the world. For example, when you were young, what did you think about money? What did you value in your life? Where do you think those values came from? How did you know you were doing the right thing… Etc. I do this with my parents often. It’s important and we don’t judge them. It really gives me insight, develops my listening and nonjudgemental skills. It also helps raise our relationship and my self-awareness to higher levels.

If your religious, get back in touch with your roots. If not, spend more time breathing. Consider giving more away to those in need. Various religious text mention giving away 10% or spending 10% on your own development. How much have you given away or spent developing your self recently?

How to hire a coach in China

Ok, thank you for reading all this “How to hire a coach” article. Thank you for considering your coaching/mentoring pathways. I firmly believe everyone should have a coach. It is good for the mind, body, heart and soul. Don’t skimp or miss out. 

mind_body_soul_heart painted

 

 

 

 

 

 

Big hug

Adrian

 

Improve your Dating: Step 1 “Love Yourself”

There are many ‘Keys’ to dating, however,  you have to be complete and happy with yourself first. Sounds quite simple ?And yes it is.

Life quotes from Buddha
Once you get your head in the right place (with or without a little coaching), dating will simply be so much easier. These sum it up:healthy mind, healthy body, and healthy heart.

By investing in a healthier lifestyle, you will naturally feel better about your self. A little daily meditation, exercise, socialization, bonding with family and rest are all ways to make your self feel better. Looking after your health and weight better would certainly help you attract the opposite sex, you know you feel so much better about yourself when you’re feeling healthy (here is an article we wrote on losing weight using your mobile phone). This naturally leads to better dating.

A lot of the time when your not having success with something, its easy to feel down or depressed. There is a bad obvious catch here. Feeling down, brings you down, you meet someone and your down!  If your not having success at the moment with say dating, or even your finances, try concentrating on something else for a little bit. Try spending a little time improving another area of your life. Perhaps something as simple as going for a long run, walk, or bike ride. Perhaps spending time with family. Then later come back and tackle the dating or finances again.

I strongly encourage a plan to improve all areas of your life as this leads to better dating.  Love, health, friendships, family, finance are all intertwined.