In this short article we are going to cover what is an Enlightened Relationship. You’re going to love it!
Many people on our planet are awakening to a new form of intimate relationship. The traditional “Til Death Do Us Part” and “They Lived Happily Ever After” are falling away as evidenced by the growing divorce rates in almost every country around the world. Failed relationships are now more the norm than successful relationships. The traditional need to own your partner, control or manipulate them, feeling victimized by your own unhappiness (and blaming it on your partner) no longer serve us.
Did you get that? You may need to read that last paragraph twice.
Relationships deserve an over-haul. Better yet, it’s time to consider a transformation. If you have read a single article or blog of mine, then you already know I love transforming lives. Personal development is the name of the game and when people transcend their lives, they transform not only their life, but the lives of those around them as well.
So what if both people in a relationship transcend and transform their own lives?
Is it likely the relationship will follow?
I’m 100% confident the relationship will follow. It may need a little guidance, but I’m sure it will naturally transform in the process as each person in the relationship transcends and transforms their own lives.
What is an Enlightened Relationship?
It’s not for the fake brave. Not for the go-getters that are so busy go-getting they don’t have time to confront their own stuff. This isn’t like putting ice-cream on dog pooh. (Something I see a lot of in the overcrowded ‘let me motivate you, motivational world’).
See a lot of us live our lives chasing more and more material wealth believing that when we have enough material wealth, then we will be happy or suddenly be fulfilled. It’s a false life based on the Ego. But it sells.
To enter the Enlightened Relationship we need to move towards our own enlightenment while accommodating and supporting our partner in theirs. We must find ourselves in our own ways in our own time.
To be in an Enlightened Relationship starts with 3 requirements:
- It takes 2 conscious beings in other words a couple that have both transcended or have been exposed to their true selves. Both are willing to be 100% accountable for themselves and the relationship. Not just 50% or sharing the responsibility. Both take full accountability. David Hawkins sums it up brilliantly: “By taking the responsibility for the consequences of his own perceptions, the observer can transcend the role of victim to an understanding that ‘nothing out there has power over you.’ It isn’t life’s events, but how one reacts to them and the attitude that one has about them, that determines whether such events have a positive or negative effect on one’s life, whether they’re experienced as opportunity or as stress.”
2. You have to know and work on yourself. For you to own yourself and speak your truth about whatever comes up for you in honesty and authenticity. This begins by working on your shadow, your fears, and your dark side. You need to accept the traits you don’t like, or that may not seem positive as all traits contribute to the whole.
3. Letting go of your attachment to being right. You have to let go of your expectations as to how the relationship should look, how the other should be, or how you should feel and be ok with letting go. Letting go, surrendering, loosing are often portrayed as negative things we should avoid. Could you imagine playing a game of cards if you never lost? Now would you enjoy playing with someone who never or couldn’t handle losing? Losing is an essential part of life. Hence my comment about Ice Cream on Pooh and the motivational world. We have to be negative at times in order to be positive at times. We need bad to know what good is. Being wrong is vital and if you can focus on being wrong, “being ok with being wrong” then being ok with the unknown suddenly becomes a lot easier.
These 3 requirements are rarely met by individuals. Hence, the rarity and value of the Enlightened Relationship. Besides most people don’t even know what a Enlightened Relationship is. One may suspect that this Enlightened Relationship is a fad or something but it’s certainly not and I personally believe it is pretty mind blowing. If you get to experience or create one, you know, it would be one of the best things you could possibly do with your life. .
For interested in Coaching, I coach individuals only. If coaching couples, which I’m asked to sometimes, I coach them both individually first as they both need to be on growing paths.
Also note, my wife is studying with The Gottman Institute. They are one of the world leaders in understanding and developing relationships.
The best starting point, is having a discussion with me over Skype or Phone and I’ll happily recommend or help you find something in your budget and time frame, to your particular style.
Have a great day. Talk soon.
What is an Enlightened Relationship, by Adrian Cahill